DEGREE ONE (LOOK GOOD)

With sincere smile and hypnotic mustache Big Brother easily qualifies.

DEGREE TWO (HAVE GURU)

Big Brother's private booty instructor Cherry Angioma gives good guru.

DEGREE THREE (EARN DIPLOMA)

His fake diploma in Booty Management is a source of pride.

DEGREE FOUR (BE BOOTY-ONIC)

Having 24 implants Big Brother can process booty at rapid speeds.

DEGREE FIVE (TAKE PRESCRIPTION)

Big Brother's large snake oil prescription is only fillable by forklift.

Before reading Big Brother's latest fake interview we need another hit